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How to Leave the House

A Novel

ebook
4 of 7 copies available
4 of 7 copies available
“Profound—and profoundly sidesplitting.” —Bobby Finger, The New York Times
It's Natwest's last day before he leaves for university, and there's only one thing on his mind: the deeply embarrassing package he ordered to his house—which still hasn't arrived. He won't leave town without it. Any alternative is too distressing to consider. . .

This is the story of twenty-four hours in the life of Natwest, and his small-town odyssey in pursuit of the missing package. And yet it's also the story of a middle-aged dentist who dreams of being a respected artist—but the only thing he can seem to paint is the human mouth. And it's the story of a tortured imam involved in a quasi-romantic entanglement with the local vicar; and an octogenerian mourning the death of her secretive husband; and a troubled teenager whose nudes have leaked on the internet. It's the story of Natwest's obnoxious ex-boyfriend, and his class-traitor mother and her childhood boyfriend, and the life-changing secrets he knows about Natwest's past.
Alternating between Natwest's idiosyncratic inner world and the perspectives of the other characters—and dazzling in its energy, imagination and originality—this is an outrageously funny and tenderly moving story about being connected to everyone and everything at all times; about love, friendship, and the lies we tell ourselves; about unhappy endings, happy endings—and whether anything really is as simple as one or the other.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 17, 2024
      Newman debuts with a witty and endearing mosaic novel centered on a young gay man’s desperate quest to avoid embarrassment. Natwest, 23, who’s nicknamed after the U.K. bank, is set to leave his mother’s house for his delayed start to university, but not before he tracks down the large dildo that was scheduled for delivery the day prior (“Humiliation, which was lurking around the corner of his life at all times, was now very much on his doorstep”). It turns out the package was mistakenly picked up by his dentist, Dr. Hung. As Natwest tries to claim the package from Hung’s office, where his mother works as a nurse, he encounters people whose stories Newman continues in chapters devoted to their perspectives. Among them are Mishaal, a film student turned imam who secretly watches classic movies with a Christian reverend; Lily, a crying teen Natwest comforts at a bus stop, who’s being extorted by someone she met online and sent nude photos to; and Hung, an amateur painter fixated on gaping mouths. The situations are enjoyably farcical, but there’s also depth to them, as Newman delves into his characters’ hidden passions and shows how they grapple with their self-defeating choices. This raucous adventure is great fun. Agent: Charlie Brotherstone, Aevitas U.K.

    • Kirkus

      July 1, 2024
      A wayward 20-something art critic discovers a great deal about himself and his hometown in pursuit of a missing package. The inciting incident for debut author Newman's raucous first novel is a simple mix-up of the Royal Mail. Natwest, a once-precocious English teen and aspiring art critic, has aged into a pretentious young adult finally headed off to university. The morning before departing his small town for the big city, Natwest anxiously awaits the arrival of a discreet package of particular length and girth, only to inadvertently swap parcels at the post office with his mother's employer, dentist Dr. Richard Hung (pun very much intended). As Natwest attempts to recoup his item, his path intersects with a number of seemingly minor characters whose roles gradually assume greater importance: Mrs. Pandey, a former teacher who fostered young Natwest's potential; Joan, a widower across the street who's getting back into the dating scene; and Mishaal, a local imam enduring an unhappy marriage. Newman expertly threads together the minor events and small mishaps of the characters' lives in a convincing recreation of the inescapable social overlap that often defines life in a small town. Underlying it all is a preoccupation with beauty and the value of art. Natwest obsessively sees references everywhere: His mother in an orange nighty recalls "Leighton's Flaming June"; the stares of disapproving neighbor boys "pierced him like the arrows in a St. Sebastian picture." More than motifs, artistic legacies are also the source of much of the book's humor--at one point, Natwest imagines Geoff Dyer attending his funeral. Newman works in more profound interactions as well. Reconnecting on a park bench, Natwest and former mentor Mrs. Pandey debate the artistic merits of a nail salon mural painted in the style of Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, the outstretched fingers on each figure sporting pink nail polish: It's Zizekian, it's Jungian, it's Pop Art in situ, "Warhol's soup cans, restored to the Asda aisle." In seeking to balance intelligent prose, insightful commentary, and compelling characters, Newman delivers. Smart and funny, Newman's debut is a refreshing take on juvenilia and the enduring potency of art discourse.

      COPYRIGHT(2024) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Library Journal

      July 1, 2024

      With TV rights already sold, Newman's debut is being billed as funny, tender, and incisive. It's about Natwest and his last day at home before he leaves for university, the embarrassing package he's waiting for, and the residents of the small UK town he lives in across one 24-hour period. Prepub Alert.

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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