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The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Popularity, Prettiness & Perfection

The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Popularity, Prettiness & Perfection

#1 in series

ebook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available
Now a digital feature film!

I hadn't even gotten to homeroom yet and I'd already discovered five hard truths about junior high:

1. My best friend had turned pretty.
2. She didn't know it yet.
3. It wouldn't be long before she did.
4. That knowledge would change everything between us.
5. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
It's the first day of seventh grade. Is Jessica Darling doomed for dorkdom?
New York Times bestselling author Megan McCafferty's hilarious new novel will have you laughing, cringing, and cheering for Jessica Darling as she learns that being herself beats being popular, pretty & perfect any day.
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  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      August 5, 2013
      In this breathless prequel to the Jessica Darling series, the self-described “very witty, medium pretty, and a little bit zitty” protagonist starts seventh grade. Armed with extremely limited advice from her popular older sister (such as “Wear something different every day”), Jessica interprets these vague rules with some success. She befriends a group of girls determined to be popular and (technically) makes the cheer team, but Jessica doesn’t feel at ease with the course of her new life, especially when she and her suddenly beautiful best friend have a serious fight. Or when making the cheer team means dressing up as the school mascot, Mighty the Seagull. It isn’t difficult to pinpoint the book’s theme (Jessica’s woodshop teacher sings “Whoooooo are you?” when the seventh-grader wears a vintage The Who T-shirt on the first day of class) or predict how Jessica will change and grow. But readers meeting Jessica for the first time will be charmed by this authentic and funny girl who makes well-tread territory feel as new as a pair of first-day-of-school sneakers. Ages 10–up. Agent: Heather Schroder, ICM.

    • Kirkus

      August 1, 2013
      Starting with Sloppy Firsts (2001), McCafferty explored the later teen and early 20s years of angst-ridden Jessica Darling in a five-book series. In this start to a new series, Jessica comes back for younger readers as an angst-ridden (of course) seventh-grader. Jessica's older sister, Bethany, took junior high by storm, so popular, well-dressed and successful (in her own eyes) as to become co-captain of the vaunted junior high CHEER TEAM!!! Now she's offering somewhat terse advice to guide Jessica along her path--perhaps not an altogether desirable one, since Bethany is a bit shallow. Jessica was counting on lots of help from Bridget, but her BFF's star is rising as rapidly as Jessica's is setting. Some potential new friends turn out to be less than supportive as well. Jessica, after abject failure at CHEER TEAM!!! tryouts, is chosen to be the anonymous costumed school mascot, a sea gull, a role she clumsily fills all too well. Brief characterizations of teachers and students are often humorously spot-on, and rules, such as those for cutting lines, fully capture the junior high social scene in all its often distressing ignominy. Jessica's take on junior high may be superficial, but she brings readers on a funny ride, even if many--perhaps even most--of her problems are not resolved by the end, setting up the next in the series, as expected. (Fiction. 11-14)

      COPYRIGHT(2013) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • School Library Journal

      September 1, 2013

      Gr 6-9-Jessica Darling is about to enter her first year at Pineville Junior High, so her college-age sister gives her a short list of guidelines to ensure her success in the seventh-grade social scene. When she arrives at school, however, Jessica quickly realizes that following the tips will be harder than she expected. Her best friend has had a makeover and attracts the attention of freshmen football players, her new classmates have outlandish and confusing methods for trying to gain popularity, and she has mistakenly been scheduled for Woodshop, which includes a class full of smart-aleck boys led by a ridiculously off-the-wall teacher. As Jessica navigates this strange new world, she inevitably finds herself in situations both amusing and awkward, and she eventually starts to accept the fact that her sister's methods for surviving junior high might not work for her. Told in the hilariously authentic voice of a preteen girl, this book will have readers laughing out loud at Jessica's high jinks, especially her disastrous stint as the school's mascot.-Sarah Reid, Broome County Public Library, Binghamton, NY

      Copyright 2013 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      July 1, 2013
      Grades 4-7 Jessica Darling, who first appeared as a high-schooler in Sloppy Firsts (2001), is back in this prequel series opener that sees her poised for the first day of seventh grade. And is she freaking out about starting Pineville Junior High? Of course. Luckily, or unluckily as it turns out, big sis Bethany provides her with a cheat sheet that's a Guaranteed Guide to Popularity, Prettiness, and Perfection. These four items (get out your notepads) are as follows: Wear something different every day; Make the CHEER TEAM!!!; Pick your first boyfriend wisely; and Stick with the IT clique. This is easier said than done, as Jess becomes the cheer team mascot and finds she is not interested in any boys. On top of all that, her BFF Bridget is suddenly pretty and popular. While this doesn't break tween ground, Jessica is a winning heroine, and as she stumbles and fumbles (and literally falls flat on her face), readers will laugh alongside her and, yes, cheer as she comes into her authentic self. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: The Jessica Darling series was a New York Times best-seller, so the prequels, backed by a solid marketing campaign, should be similarly well received.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2013, American Library Association.)

    • The Horn Book

      January 1, 2014
      Jessica's older sister presents her with a list of steps to ensure she has a great seventh-grade year. She tries to follow them, but her quirkiness and anxiety make it nearly impossible--and result in hilarity. Fans of the first Jessica Darling books will love seeing the spunky, relatable heroine and her friends as junior-high students in this prequel-series starter.

      (Copyright 2014 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

Formats

  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB ebook

Languages

  • English

Levels

  • ATOS Level:5.3
  • Lexile® Measure:810
  • Interest Level:4-8(MG)
  • Text Difficulty:3-4

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